Sunday, 16 November 2008
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Need Help: How Do I Teach Safety?
Okay, so I need a little help here... Any tips are welcome, thanks!
Yesterday, my 18-month-old son stayed with my sister and her two kids for the day while I did a (rather disastrous, but that's another story) vocal performance. My son is easy enough to take care of; he plays happily on his own or with his cousins and eats pretty much anything (apart from certain vegetables) you put in front of him. So far, so good...
The only problem was, my sister needed to run to the store - well, cycle to the store, actually (we are in Holland after all) - and she needed to take all three kids with her. My niece and nephew may be a little on the boisterous side at home, but they always, always listen when they are out with my sister. They never, say, run into traffic, or refuse to hold her hand.
Not so with my son.... He refused to hold my sister's hand, ran out onto the street while my sister was picking up my nephew, who had tripped, and ran away from her in the store. He does this with my husband and me, too, but since we only have one child, we can usually grab a hold of him/the hood on his winter jacket. In the store I also grab his hand/arm if necessary.
Still, for his safety, I'd like to teach him how to behave outside ASAP. When we are at home and he doesn't behave, we give him a one-minute time-out in the h all, where he can't hurt himself or break things. Before we go out, we try to sit him down and explain (as much as you can with an 18-month-old) how we expect him to behave outside, but as soon as we are outside, he is distract by leaves, cats, cars, and everything else that is so appealing to a toddler. I need help! My sister even suggested putting him in one of those child harnesses with a leash, but since we only have one child right now, I don't see the need for that. I would consider it in situations where I couldn't keep him safe otherwise (like if I had to carry lots of luggage maybe, but then I'd consider putting him in a buggy or something). But what I'd really like to do is teach him the importance of staying close to me when we're out and about.
How did you teach your child how to be safe outside? How did you get them to hold your hand, wait at the curb before crossing, and stay with you in the store?
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Comments (7)
At 18 months, I always held hands. They are too young to really understand and don't have the impulse control not to dart off. If you can't physically hold them 100% of the time, a leash would be the safest thing.
Practice playing red light, green light. Yelling RED LIGHT may get him
to stop better then saying stop in a running off situation. Always talk about safety, model it. He will catch on some time, though probably not under after 2 years old and even then, poor impulse control is a problem.
@TornadoChaser - Thanks! I thought I was crazy, since my nephew does seem to have good impulse control.... So now I know that it's normal for an 18-month-old to be distracted outside
It's really only a problem when I have my hands full, so I try to make sure I am always able to grab him if necessary...
I'll try the red light thing (I'll have to use the Dutch word!) He likes to push the button at the crosswalk, so I think that should work.
The only thing that has really worked with my daughter is the threat of me picking her up if she doesn't hold my hand. She loves to be able to walk when we are shopping so the first time she doesn't listen to me, I pick her up until I feel she is ready to try again. It can be a pain on my back but it lets her know that I am serious.
@Blue_Dragon_Designs@xanga - I have pelvic separation, so I can't pick him up more than a couple of times a day, or I'll be in serious pain by dinner time... So that's not an option. And he loves being picked up most of the time, too - he's a really cuddly kid.... But thanks for the suggestion! I think I could probably bring a stroller on some occasions - he doesn't like to sit in it much, so that could serve as discipline...
@NotUeberMommy - The stroller would be a good alternative if he doesn't like to sit in it. I can't use it for my daughter now because she'll use her legs to move it around the second I take my hands off of it.
You are a vocalist! Wow, we are having so much in common, the more we find out about each other!
I am a music teacher. I teach violin and piano and general music class in private schools here in Texas. I also sing, but not so much.
As far as the holding of the hands ... I am a pretty strict mommy. My children learn that what mommy says is the law of the land. They don't think I'm mean; when they obey, everything is so happy. Only if they disobey, then nobody is happy. Consistently showing my children that mommy is the parent and they must obey their parents gives them the freedom to enjoy family life in safetly and serenity.